Say YES to Yourself

There is a real power that comes with saying YES.


This is what I've recognised in this process of behaviour change, the journey of transformation.


This full, visceral, embodied, powerful declaration that “yes”, this is what I want.


I know this because before that, I'm flirting with the idea of change and to improve and wanting to better myself. I never really truly said yes. I felt this apprehension, almost like a passive resignation…


For so long the thought of stepping out onto the path brought up fear, a sense of anxiety - because I knew that what comes with saying “yes” is responsibility.


Because when you say “yes” to yourself, you're then faced with the regret and the guilt and the shame for not doing the thing that you said that you were going to do.


And this is not for anybody else, it just comes down to the relationship you have with yourself.


You have to face yourself. Over and over again.


And it’s about saying “yes” without knowing what lies ahead or how long these things take, it is an ongoing journey of course where the goal is in the becoming rather than some end goal, but saying “yes” with conviction, with clarity, with commitment…opened the doors.


"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears" - Rumi


The potential to change from that moment expands. And ironically, what I noticed that there was now this sense of allowing - not forcing but surrendering into.


And from this space, perspective shifted.


So then when things that would come up about myself that were part of my conditioning and programming, this old version of me that wants to hold on - the unhealthy behaviours or negative thought patterns, after saying “yes” full-heartedly, they slowly became opportunities to practise being this person that I wanted to become.


They were no longer issues and obstacles getting in the way. They were always fresh opportunities to respond in new ways that align with my vision.


And so if you're noticing this sense of resistance coming up when looking at this journey ahead of you - know that that's a good thing because growth comes with discomfort.


Naturally something wants to hold you back because something will die away, something has to pass away as you step into the new version of yourself.


And it begins with saying “yes”


This full, embodied, heartfelt conviction, decision: “yes" I want this”.


And then you're sending out this powerful signal to the universe to say, I'm ready, let's move towards the next level.

Not Peace but a Sword

On the path of authenticity, the path of transformation, man requires a sword.


Think to when you want to share your truth, but you suppress it and water it down for you might be judged.


Or when you want move with purpose and intensity towards a goal or new habit, but laziness, procrastination or hesitation hold you back.


What about the times you want to express the depth of your heart, but fear holds you back - so you stay in the comfort of the shallow.


You want to stand in your power but societal structure pulls you down so you play it safe and conform.

My first client in my new business, I went in with full trust - full heart. Client yes, but a fellow man walking the path more so.


He came to my home for the meetings and we often went well over the agreed time. I was ok with the missed payments and missed appointments. Tho it was frustrating carving out the time and missing other work, I allowed it - knowing his heart was in the right place.


We nearly went through all of the partnership - him seeing so much growth and being very appreciative of the work - but having only paid 33% of what he owes - has disappeared. Ignoring calls and messages.


Eventually decided I have to cut ties clean - this is a leaking of energy and is taking me away from me serving people who are ready.


I know when I was beginning to have the felt sense that I had to leave my well paid sponsorship job in sport to pursue a career in meditation and mindfulness there was fear, doubt and uncertainty.


What if it don’t work out? What about the money, it’s gonna take years to earn this much again!? What will people say?


These can be valid concerns. But if the heart is saying one thing and the mind saying the other - it’s an inner war that must be engaged in. To pick up the sword...


To cut through these chains, one must pick up the sword and slay the attachments and doubts that keep one in the illusion safety, of familiarity and comfort.


As Christ is saying in this verse":

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."

(Matthew 10:34)


…it’s the sharp sword of truth that cuts through the lies that we tell ourselves.

It’s not all love and light on the journey, it is but an after affect of walking through the fire, the darkness…and overcoming yourself.


I think Christ’s sword is concisely crafted of:

Conviction.
Courage.
Clarity.


We must cut through the parts of oursevles that no longer serve us, we must cut through the fear that holds us back and we must cut out the people that hold us back.


These things are vital on the path of uncovering the true self.


If not here, where? If not now, when?

Meditation: Reclaiming your Authority

Amongst many things, meditation has shown me that I have more authority over myself than I thought I did.


My existence was alway dictated by emotion and the external environment - pushed and pulled by things outside of control, anger and frustration towards others because of their actions, pushing away things that felt uncomfortable, striving for and chasing things that were always out of reach.


In short, avoiding what was here right now.


It was akin to slavery, no inner authority - tho I would not articultate it in these ways, there was no ability to choose how I respond to my life - inner & outer.


As my meditation practice deepened, I began to recongise that I was creating this space between me and my moment-to-moment experience.


And it’s in that space that I see that I have a choice in what and how I engage in these things.


I began to notice that the thoughts, feelings and emotions are inviting awareness and curiosity, not just hooks to knee-jerk reactivity.


Here’s a few notes on what I’ve learnt on meditation & reclaiming authority over myself - they may be useful reflections for you:

1. Mastering the Mind

The mind is constantly pulled by distractions — social media, worries, expectations, regrets. Meditation trains to observe these thoughts without attachment - did I ask for this thought to arise? When reacting to every impulse lessens, already there is a litle more control over the mind. I have more power over the decision on where my attention goes; and perhaps more importantly, where it doesn’t.

2. Emotional Intelligence

Authority over yourself means mastery over your emotional state - to feel emotions and not be controlled by them is masculine, to react and be controlled by them is a more feminine trait. Meditation has taught me how to sit with discomfort — to feel anger, fear, and sadness without letting them dictate my actions. Stillness amongst the turbulance of emotions.

3. Strengthening Presence

In my experience, an unfocused mind is weak; a present mind is powerful. Meditation sharpens the attention and deepens presence. Instead of drifting through life, I noticed that I’m showing up fully — in conversations, decisions, and moments of difficulty. Engaging in all of it.

4. Re-writing Stories

I grew up with a many limiting beliefs - from my relationship to money to what I could achieve, to my worth in relationships. I carried this programming around all my life. Meditation has helped to dissolve these conditioned patterns. As you sit in silence, you being to shed these accumulated layers and begin revealing the authentic self beneath - which has been there all along.

5. Conviction in Speech & Behaviour

When the mind is calm and the heart is clear, words carry more weight. There is no longer seeking approval or fearing rejection - there is confidence to share what I want, when it feels right to and also to be silent when the moment demands.

If you’ve sat with yourself in meditation for 15-20 mins, you’ll know it is far from passive — it’s a process of taming the chaos of the inner world. And to to have command over it creates an unshakeable foundation.


No doubt, this inner world foundation is vital for building anything in the outer one.

Here for your transformation.

Let’s walk together.x
Arjun

Christ was a Neuroscientist

I don’t talk about Christ or God very much, but I am leaning into more expression of these topics that are in my heart, at the risk of losing IG followers or readers here.


And so be it.


For the past 15 years, I’ve gone deep into understanding my mind and brain and how to change it, because they were both crap and I was living like that.



Neuroscience, behaviour change, meditation etc. I devoured stuff from Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton, Rick Hanson, Judson Brewer and Jon Kabat-Zinn.



But more enjoyable and inspiring for me are the older folks who draw a lot of inspiration from the Bible's teachings on faith and belief - which align with these new scientifc understandings of the power of mind. 



Folks like James Allen, Neville Goddard, Joesph Benner, Napoleon Hill, Charles Haanel and Florence Scovel Shinn - all these folks are free on YouTube if you want it.


And after it all it comes back to the Bible and Christ. Here’s one of my favourite verses (3 more at the bottom of this post).


“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”

Romans 12:2



We babies come in to this world with a spongy blank canvas of a brain, and immediately it begins forming patterns based on external stimuli.



The world at large is shaping us from the moment we enter, it takes incredibly attentive parents to ensure the child is not so contaminated with their drama, and encouraged to go through their individual process of becoming…I’ve seen this up close, it’s beautiful to witness, but seems rare in our modern world.



From ages 0-7 an operating system is being formed, call it the brain’s default mode network, we carry it around for the rest of our lives.


This 5 minute video explains it beautifully - Bruce Lipton



The high-ranking (controversial) Jesuits in the 16th century would say: 'Give me the child until he is 7 and I will give you the man' - mind-blown (easy to go off on a tangent here regards to the sinister on-goings in sects of the Catholic church).



It’s only with active attention and intention, and the discomfort that comes with interrupting patterns and laying down new thoughts and behaviours, that we snap out of the autopilot mode that is this operating system, where we repeat the same patterns, getting stuck in the same cycles.


In the context of this Bible verse:

”Conform to the pattern of this world”:

This is the programming and conditiong that we all go through in the process of becoming worldly citizens - the masses.

“renewal”:

refers to neuroplasticity - the brain’s ability to adapt and rewire it’s structure & function in response to new experiences.


So in a nutshell, the verse is demonstrating that a renewal of the mind is the path of transformation.


And as we are transformed, as Christ said, we are in the world but not of the world.


I wrote (and performed) a piece of poetry on this, you can read it here if you're interested.



Poetry goes a long way in getting messages across that can sometimes get lost under technicalities and reams of theory - I feel this piece does just that.


Here’s to our transformation.


Let’s walk together.x
Arjun


3 more verses which link to neuroscience

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." - Proverbs 23:7

Research shows that neural pathways (repeated thoughts) shape sense of self & behaviour, behaviour shapes outcomes and the life we live.


"Be still, and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10

Meditation and stillness are vital for brain health. Plenty of research shows that meditation and mindfulness reduce stress (cortisol) and enhance congitive function. Know yourself underneath the constant thought stream.


"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." - James 1:19-20

Pause and slow down. This is a means of interrupting emotional reactivity (brain part amygdala which is responsible for detecting threat) based on our previous conditioning. How often do we do or say things we regret in the heat of the moment? It’s a practice of re-training the brain and our perception.