It’s been here all along
I really enjoy the Sunday 8am group meditations I facilitate for Mindbloom clients - this time of day, on this day of the week has a certain feel to it…and there is a little less resistance to drop into meditaiton.
I’m noticing this more relaxed balancing of being in my practice, with awareness of the group - it’s an interesting dynamic because too much in my meditation and I lose the group. Too much focus on the group and my guidance loses it’s depth.
And I’ve noticed this permeate into my interactions & conversations in daily life.
I shared this quote with the group with a few reflections, which I’m sharing here with you, it may be something to chew on for you.
While meditating we are simply seeing what the mind has been doing all along. – Allan Lokos
The first time I really sat still to meditate — no distractions, no music — it was to get rid of negative thoughts, self-judgement, self-criticism.
These thoughts were warranted as I was beginning to wake up to who I was and how I’d lived my life, and I hated what I saw. So the meditation was employed as a tool to get rid of these things, so I could be at peace.
The irony is that, it was the exact opposite, instead of the zen and emptiness ‘I was promised’ - I was faced with it all, at a cranked up volume. I began to see and hear just how much noise was running in the background.
Old stories. Loops. Regrets. Violent mental fights that never happened out loud (but looking back I’m sure impacted my energy field and how I was felt by to others).
It was humbling.
And that’s the point.
Meditation won’t fix you - I think this assumption is strong in modern wellbeing. But it will reveal you - and this is why & how the practice has been used for thousands of years in all cultures.
To know thyself.
For most of my life, perhaps you can relate, I’d be reacting to a story I didn’t even write — one that I hadn’t ever questioned in years.
This is why meditation, at least at the beginning is challenging. It brings to light the automatic patterns: the anxiety, the overthinking, the urge to prove, impress, the mistakes, the guilt (fill in your own thing here).
I’ve spoken to many people who say ‘meditation is not for me because my mind is so busy, I prefer to X’
Almost as if meditaiton is the issue, when in reality, it is showing what the mind has been doing all along.
And once you see it - the stories, the loops - over and over again, you can choose something different. And this is why meditation, or simply sitting with yourself and observing, is so powerful in the process of transformation.
Whether you have a meditation practice or not, here’s an invitation:
Sit still with yourself today. No music. No phone. Your breath and your awareness. For 3-5 minutes.
Then ask: what has my mind been doing all along?
You don’t need an answer here, just to notice. No judgement, no criticism - objective noticing.
Arjun.x
Explore the boredom
I woke up 3.46am, hot and sticky - it’s pretty tropical climes here at the moment - and went straight into a cold shower, tho it wasn’t so cold, enough tho…
I’ve noticed a lot more scrolling of late and watching YT vids, I think a sense of longing and yearning are underlying - it prompted me to write this post.
Is boredom a luxury for the developed Western world? Perhaps not, tho I reckon it arises from the excess of options & overstimulation rather than too little, but I’m sure everyone feels it in someway.
These are notes (from over the years, rehashed) on why boredom doesn’t need to be boring, and can actually be an entry to a greater understanding of oneself.
Boredom is a Mirror
If you want to see how addicted you are to distraction, stimulation, and controlled by them - be bored, do nothing - you’ll be shown some things.
Restlessness, discomfort, justifying things to yourself etc. By facing this, you confront the parts of you that fears emptiness — and begin reclaiming power from the impulses that seem to be in control. Sit in boredom not as a punishment but as a path to freedom.
Boredom is a Gateway
I noticed that when I stopped numbing & distracting myself for periods of time (yeh, it still happens to this day, but I have gone long periods enough to note comparison), boredom reveals the stillness beneath the constant doing - the mind perceives this space as one to fill, but the stillness speaks too.
Boredom is an invitation to slow down and be with what is, learning to remain in the subtle layers of awareness that are usually overlooked.
Boredom Reveals
What I’ve noticed is that as I stayed in spaces of boredom, when the noise of the world quietens— the things I truly longed for began to arise. As I got better at being with the restlessness & the yearning, it showed me what is missing & what I’m engaging in that is misaligned. The emptiness only felt so loud because I didn’t want to listen.
Boredom is Strengthening
Actually sitting with boredom without escaping it naturally builds the capacity to be with discomfort. It may be not something you want to hear if you’re always getting rid of it, but you can see how it teaches patience by settling into discomfort and calms a nervous system that’s been conditioned to require stimulation. There’s a little more space than to respond rather than react in the midst of triggers because of the greater capactity to be with what’s happening rather than push it away.
Boredom and Creativity
All my writing has emerged from spaces of silence and stillness - not from constant stimulation. This sense of boredom, of nothingness also means mental clutter settles allowing for inspiration to arise from somewhere deeper. True creation emerges from the darkness of the void
Final thoughts & an invitation: When this sense of boredom arises, take the opportunity to explore it in a little more detail. Zoom in a little - what’s actually here, what is being shown to you…perhaps something wants to come through, some new insight or an idea or two.
Ultimately, it’s about learning about ourselves, the patterns, the loops - what pushes and pulls us - boredom then, is an opportunity for self-investigation.
And there’s nothing boring about that.
Peace.x
Arjun
Leave it alone
Something I've been recognising over the past years, especially as my meditation practice has deepened, is that there’s a power in stepping back, observing, of remaining in this sense of stillness & awareness amidst the chaos and this frenzy.
There's a lot of activity in the mind - pushing away of negative thoughts and striving towards ones which you might prefer. Problems to solve, conflict to resolve, regrets to make peace with and a future to execute.
Muddy water is best cleared when left alone”
- Alan Watts
There's so much frenetic activity in the external world - the push and pull of stimulation and distraction. Using the metaphor from the Watts quote above, when the water is shaken and stirred - i.e. trying to force the mud to settle, the mud swirls around, there is no clarity and the visibility disappears.
And the more you try to fix it, to grasp it, to force it to clear, the murkier it becomes.
It’s the same with the mind - note how when we meddle in the activity of the mind, put up resistance, try to get rid of by force, push certain thoughts away, they intensify.
In the midst of the mental noise, the instinct is to do, to get rid of, to take action. We want to solve it. The masculine urge to fix - to take action.
It seems as tho what is often considered feminine - receiptivity, surrender and allowing - are qualities to employ when it comes to working with the mind.
It can often feel like that to do nothing, to be, to surrender, is an act of passivity, a weakness. You might reflect on this being a subtle conditioning for men especially, based on a cultural or society that is predominantly about doing, getting things done, taking action - the lack of intentional rest and recuperation in today’s world comes from this too.
There is a time for taking action, of doing…and there is a time to surrender and allowing.
Ironically, nature is in constant flux. It's dynamic and ever-moving. The seasons are continuously changing. The sun rises and sets. The waves are crashing. The leaves are falling. And so it's even a paradox to think when you are still and simply being and not taking action, that there is no action taking place, that you're being passive or idle. This is not the case.
We're simply merging into the flow of the natural unfolding of things.
And so at times when it's called for us to surrender, to let go, to allow the right action to emerge.
But there is fear in letting go, to surrender, because the mind thrives on the control (illusion of) and predictability and the doing…in the sense that it can achieve it’s outcome if there is always this strong action taking place.
And so surrender really is a practice.
Letting go of control, of trusting into your intuition, your heart, knowing that there is a deeper intelligence that will flow through you and knows what to do if you let go of the control, if you surrender and allow for things to unfold.
And so an invitation for you this week is to pause from time to time, especially when you notice being pulled into the chaos, the frenzy, the muddiness - when you notice the forcing, the pushing away…
To pause and take a step back. And trust enough to allow for the right action to emerge of it’s own accord.
Notes from a recent meditation retreat
I went on a 3-day meditation retreat recently, below are my rough notes (pretty much unedited from the evenings of each day), they may be useful in your practice, but more so in daily life.
Each meditation over the 3-days was at least 45mins to an hour long (3 on Friday, 5 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday) - not much compared to other retreats, but it’s been a while since I’ve sat in formal practice for an hour, and these sits taught me new things and refreshed others.
I invite you to consider them in both contexts.
———-
Relaxation x concentration = the middle way. Feeling into this space. 50% of each. Too much concentration leads to contraction and tension (mental & physical). Too much relaxation leads to lethargy and sleep.
Structure + Stability + Foundation allows for Safety / Surrender = Let go / Flow. So the structure and foundation created thru discipline enable one to let go and flow.
Sit knowing there is no goal, no end product…no reward or certificate. Modern society has conditioned us to work towards a goal or we desire recognition for efforts…this is not nature’s way. Learn to be in the flow of experience. Letting go of outcome can be cultivated during meditation practice which permeates thru our daily life.
Constant mental activity keeps one contained. And in separation from everything else. Quietening the mind, stillness and deep experience of the space between thoughts is an expansive state where one is not having an experience but is the experience.
Posture is key. Create the qualities in the body first (stability, alertness, wakefulness, ease and comfort), this makes it easier for these qualities to be known in the mind.
Morning practice sets the foundation for the day. Create an anchor, an experience to come back to…muscle memory. Thru the day as we engage in life’s duties there is a felt sense of the morning’s inner experience, we can come back here over and over again.
Let go and let be. Don’t get involved with the mind - it thinks, it ruminates - so what? Leave it alone. Yes, you’ll get tangled and lost in thought. When you wake up from that, let it go…and begin again. Over and over again. Over time you’ll see how you lose interest with the contents of the mind, the activity of the mind slows too. Giving more choice as to what you engage in or not - not every thought requires your attention.
Cleaning (reducing useless patterns, negative energies that dominate) + refining (improving qualities of mind, focus, clarity, stillness). The mind is contaminated by the world - other people’s energy, cultural ideas of how to be, psychological manipulation in advertising, political persuasion etc. Meditation cleanses and purifies - allowing these accumulated things to settle enough so you hear the original self, the inner voice…
Discipline of mind and body frees up space and energy for other pursuits. We are all creative beings…creativity emerges from spaciousness, not something that is forced out. It’s difficult when the mind is cluttered and the body tense for inspiration and ideas to emerge. As we still the mind and bring ease to the body there is more space for the flow of these things thru you. This does not have to be formal and sitting, we can be in movement with these qualities.