Centre everywhere, circumference nowhere

You may have heard of the app from Sam Harris: Waking Up - a meditation app, but so much more with podcast style interviews, content focused series, guided practice and lectures.


I really like it, tho using it less so than the first year I got it I admit. I love the daily prompts for reflection - this was yesterday's:


"Real meditation is not a state of mind, it's the recognition that every experience is indivisible from consciousness itself"


To me it says, in short, from the point of conscious awareness, there is no division or seperation - but a seamless unfolding moment to moment.


What I’m increasingly noticing is everything I experience — thoughts, emotions, body sensations, sounds, even confusion, doubt etc. — is not separate from awareness itself.


No matter what arises in the external environment it already inside this awareness of mine.


Why does this matter?


Well, from this point I am only ever reacting to my inner experience of the outer environment - my interpretation.


Any agitation or discomfort, challenging thought or emotion - yes, they may be triggered by the external, but I am only ever reacting to my percpetion, my mind, my inner world.


Nothing is ever “happening” outside of my awareness.


Still, why does this actually matter?


From this space everything is happening in me and not to me. This was a powerful shift for someone who regularly played the victim card, blaming the hand I was dealt and everything out there. This is empowering as I began to see I have control over my inner world and can work to shift my percpetion of twhat’s happening out there.


From here - where everything is unfolding in my own awareness - there is real tangible evidence of being in the flow with how things are - not pushing things away or striving for them to be how I want them to be. This is not some far away state that you have to work towards, flow state then is our natural state - it’s just underneath the constant push and pull of the mind.


From this space I can see that I don’t need to identify with the contents of my experience & it does not define me. If I am the space in which all of the content is arising - I see & experience it is constantly shifting and changing, ever evolving and this means so am I. I need not create unnecessary stagnation of the flow by holding onto things or judging them or resisting them.


And finally from this space, I can take off the mask. The different ways in which I show up to different situations because I think a different version of me is required to fit or be accomodated, is disolving, because there is no seperation, rather a seamless moment to moment experience inviting me to simply be all in.


So meditation - the act of paying non-judgmental attention, being fully alive to our experience - can be the practice which dissolves the barriers that the mind has created that inhibit our access to this ever present flow.

You are the centre of Your Universe

Contemplate the idea that the world is yourself pushed out.


Experiment with the notion that the world is yourself pushed out.


Take action from this space where you know that the world is yourself pushed out.


This has been a huge paradigm shift for me over the past 5-10 years or so.


Hear me out…


Visualise (with the support of the image below) that you are the centre of your universe - the red and white blackberry-like thing.

And everything in your orbit (represented by the blue balls) is magnetised to you.


These blue balls are people, interactions, events, circumstances, job etc. etc. Everything in your life basically - the good, the bad and the ugly. And all this in the surrounding orbit is magnetised to you, because of you.


Everything in your orbit is drawn to you because of your dominant vibratory signature.


What makes up your vibratory signature: your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, these dominant patterns that you engage in emit a frequency and have no choice but draw in the people and circumstances that are on the same frequency.


Or is everything random and out of your control?


Nikola Tesla said: “if you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, vibration and frequency.


Max Planck said: "There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force...


This is subtle stuff, and so requires intentional awareness and experimentation.


As we shift towards the inner world, and begin paying attention - whether in formal meditation or quiet contemplation we begin seeing patterns.


What are the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions and behaviours that I engae in most frequently? What is the quality, energy and intention behind these things?


And then look at the patterns and themes that dominate your day to day - what is the link?


And there will be something connecting the inner and the outer, perhaps not so obvious…but if you are always the common denomination - the heart of the experience, than how could it be otherwise?


As I got serious and honest with myself, quit the lying and pretending and blaming the external environment for all the drama and the crap, what I noticed was that the things I engage in most frequently is being reflected back to me in some shape or form.


I’m bringing towards me the people, the interactions, the events and the situations that are validating what I harbour in my inner world.


This was / is not all bad - the beautiful and joyful scenarios are also a reflection of you, and this is reassuring and empowering. But one must take into account the negative “unwanted” situations too.


Everything is a teacher for the one who is wanting to learn.


This is not about judgement and looking at everything unfolding as “my fault” - but about reclaiming authority, which we only truly have over ourselves.


So, an invitation to experiment - start seeing things from the inside out, what is the quality of your inner world, what are you feeding it? And then look at the external world.


At the very least, you will receive some some data - and with this data if you don’t like it, if you want, you have the power to change the input.

Resurrection Sunday

I felt blessed to guide a group meditation this morning and share some words reflecting on what this weekend means to me at the beginning.


I did about 30mins of deep stretching, wrote the bulk of this email and headed to the local church. I pop in usually once a week and sit at the back in quiet contemplation. Of course it was packed - Ressurection Sunday.


I feel on this day we are powerfully asked to believe in the power of our transformation.

They say the goal is to die before you die. The death of personality and world identity, a kind of earthly execution, is followed by an eternal resurrection.


Re-birth of the new is not possible without death of the old.


The metaphorical cave, in the darkness and void is where and when the process alchemy takes - the transmutation and the preparation for transformation
.

This is the space where one’s higher self goes to work.


But it’s not required to go and sit in a cave for 3 days - the cave is within. That’s why meditation is vital in the process of transformation. Without the external distraction and stimulation, you see yourself more clearly.


To be set free of the false - the fear, the wounding and the doubt, the self-limiting beliefs we accumulate from the point of coming into the world - they need to be seen first.


What I feel that Christ shows, is that is safe to surrender, to let go of all that has been and to step forth into our potentiality. His message is all about the resurrection of you. The awakening of you. The re-birth of you.


When he says I am the truth, the way and the life - he’s showing the process is possible, but the ‘I’ is and always was You. So, not said in separation, rather a demonstration of your power.


It’s a return to our higher selves - to childlike simplicity, but now with the wisdom forged during the painful alchemy and the time in the metaphorical cave.


And as you walk in your truth, having let go of the old self, you are no longer running on fear-based software. The old code has been wiped. You are now powered by a force that is eternal, unstoppable, and unshakable


Your fears do not own you anymore because you are not moving alone.

Your wounds do not define you anymore. The traumas, the guilt and shame—they belong to the one who was crucified. You now stand now free.

Your desires are purified by the fire within you.

When you speak, you speak with conviction—not because of your own personal wisdom, but because a greater wisdom is flowing through you.


When you act, you act with power—not because of your own strength, but because you are recognise that you are connected to an inexhaustible source.


When you love, you love fully with all of your being—because the selfishness, the small self of seperation that once held you back is gone.

For a man that was lowest of the low in all the ways from lying to cheating to stealing - the message, the sacrifice and the demonstration of Christ for me is a powerful refuge, to see and feel deeply that there is the potential to change.


That, if we are willing to walk through our darkness, we will see our light.


All glory to Christ.x

Good Friday

I have the title ‘Inner Transformation Coach’ - I don’t really like the label. Sounds a bit wanky.


A slightly awkward feeling arises - “bit arrogant that, who do you think you are” - I know this stems from the pain of seeing how inflated my ego was, I was sooo arrogant, pride and all…without substance.


And I hated myself for this when I began to see it.


But even now after 15 years of committed inner work - where I can see and feel tangible shifts in my character and my way of being due to intense effort, having supported hundreds of people to work with thru mental health challenges, worked up to guiding group meditations 4x per week for people around the world, lived in London, NYC & Mexico City, been married and soon to be divorced, started my business and…


…I still have that come up - “who do you think you are to call yourself a transformation coach” - I don’t call myself it - just need a label so people can see I serve in this way.


Anyways, back my original point - you can’t talk ‘transformation’ without talking about the King.


Good Friday is when Jesus was put to the cross. You may switch off here, or read on for my interpretation.


My heart belongs to Christ because of what He showed us - man can die to the world and be re-born, renewed - cleansed. Just requires a crucfixion.


He showed us in the most loving & sacraficial way, so we could see symbolically & spiritually, today represents the death of the false self personality.

He didn’t resist the cross, he chose to face it. He showed us that true power is born not in resistance, but in radical surrender.

He showed us that the death of one’s accumulated worldy identity is not the end, but the beginning. The preparation for transformation.

We must be willing to
die to who we think we are,
in order to
become who we truly are.

There is no glorious blooming without first, letting yourself be buried. The darkest hours preceed the illumined rebirth.

The fears, doubts, the self-limiting beliefs, worry and wounding and the trauma, the guilt, shame and sin. These are the things that need be crucified.


This is excruciating - but not as much as what was done to Him.


It’s painful because it’s all we’ve ever known, it makes up our identity in the world - it’s who we are, or at least have conditioned ourselves to believe we are over the years.


But we are far greater than this.

Good Friday is the invitation and the initiation for man’s transformation.

He showed us that we shall prevail, He asks us to surrender….to let go of all the attachments, to be free of that which weighs us down and stops us from expressing our heart.


Here’s to the willingess to let go of that which no longer serves us.


With love.x