Losing and noticing, is winning

Have we have got the point in our evolution where people deem thought as a negative thing because they are are so rampant and seemingly incessant for the average person?


For many, thoughts are seen as a problem rather than a tool.


A 2020 study at Queen’s University, Canada estimate the average person has about 6,200 thoughts per day. That’s a lot, especially if you feel the need to jump on every one of them. Or feel you don’t have a choice.


More people engage with meditation nowadays, so more are becoming aware of the mind's incessant chatter—which can seem shocking, at least at first.


In contrast to the silence and spaciousness of awareness, thought can appear as noisy, uninvited, and even violent at times.


Of course, thought is not the enemy, if it is, it would be unconscious thought.


I must speak to at least 3 people per week who state that they are not good at meditation because they can’t stop their thoughts or empty their minds.


I don’t believe you can get meditation wrong; the very act of carving out time to sit with one’s inner experience, to face oneself - in my eyes, is a win.


And vital in the process of transformation.


But if you go into meditation with certain expectations of how it should be, than when the experience doesn’t meet the expectation - it can certainly seem that you get meditation wrong.


So if you think the practice is about laser-sharp focus, having no thoughts and exerting total control….very quickly you’ll be disappointed.


And most give up pretty soon after starting for this reason.


But what if:

The point of meditation isn’t to focus but to notice when you do lose focus?

As you settle in to your posture, whether sitting on the floor or a chair, it’s worth feeling into that space between relaxed & alert, comfortable & purposeful.


And then start to rest the attention on the sensations of your breath (movement, temperature etc.), your body (points of contact) — whatever helps anchor you. Basically, giving the mind something to do.


But eventually and inevitably… the mind drifts off, you get lost in a train of thought, a memory or story. You forget you are meditating.


And here, the real practice begins. In the returning, in the reclaiming of awareness.


Each time you notice what’s here - whether a thought, or memory or sound…is a moment of waking up.


A moment of reclaiming authority - because it’s only when you wake up to where the attention is, can you choose to guide it back to your chosen anchor.


So the the goal isn’t perfect attention, it’s waking up to your experience moment to moment.


Again and again.


It’s impossible to stop the flow of experience - it won’t automatically pause because you decide to meditate for 5mins.


But we can develop our awareness to be with whatever shows up - whether that’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, sounds….to be awake and alive to the different contents of experience.

You can be aware of thought and when you’re aware of thought, you have a choice as to whether or not you want to engage in it. As opposed to rumination, when it can seem like there is a constant stream that we’re drowning in.

Being controlled by thought → Awareness of thought → Choosing thought intentionally.

Each time you notice that the mind has wandered and you bring it back to the point of focus, you are strengthening the muscle of attention - like a gym rep.


Naturally this permeates into all areas of your life and we all could do with a little more attention these days.


It seems as tho there are certain forces that want every second of our attention, and it shows in the difficulty we face in maintaining attention on the things we actually want. It shouldn’t be this hard.


So we’re relaxing into what is—without forcing anything. Perhaps a paradox in a modern society which is more about control and striving.


Letting go of the gripping harder to “stay focused” also dissolves the judgements and criticism that arsies when the mind drifts.


Presence is already here, it can’t go anywhere.


And so meditation is not about doing something to get into the present moment, but noticing what’s already present in this moment.


Meditation has been integral to my life since 2010 and a vital foundation in the process of transformation, set up free a call here if you want to talk about how it can support yours.


Let’s walk together,
Arjun.x