Less Accumulation. More Subtraction.

It’s fair to say we live in an era that promotes accumulation and consumption - whether material things such as gadgets and clothes to information, entertainment and content.

What are we seeking? Is it the additional X, or the feeling it brings? Do we really need Y or are we using it to fill a void or some pain? Is acquiring more knowledge going to do the job of telling you the truth of who you are?

Why do I share this?

My experience is showing me that instead of this constant accumulation, it’s more about letting go of what actually gets in the way of me being who I already am, and expressing myself on a deeper level.

What if everything I ever want or need is already here, and it’s just about letting go of these things I hold onto so tightly?

What if we’re born with this seed that wants to blossom and work through each individual as a unique expression of the universal / God-source?

And this seed has just been covered over by the attachments I have to my personality, my role or identitiy or strongly held-beliefs?

I’m coming to see we are vessels, whereby when the mind is still and empty, something beyond emerges.

However, our vessels have become full through now fault of our own. Let’s say we come in as empty vessels with direct communion with the source of which we were made and the ability to transmit this. Like a radio receiver.

From this moment, we are accumulating and filling the vessel. Parental energy and behaviour, cultural and social norms, generational trauma, news & media etc. And on this goes through our life.

There is less and less space now for this source, God, inspiration - whatever you call it - to shine through. The radio cannot receive the neccessary frequency for the music to play.

The constant ruminating in the mind feels like so much energy is being drained.

The more I quieten the mind, the more I feel a sense of being aligned.

There are downloads, ideas and inspiration come through effortlessly. I am more able to hear the quiet whisper of intuition, usually drowned out by the loud chatter in the mind.

My poetry and content especially seem to most true when coming thru me, rather than me trying to force it (I started writing this 3.50am as I was woken naturally and I felt to write).

How to begin emptying the vessel?

- My meditation practice helps me to see what I hold onto, what are the most dominant thought patterns - mostly about I, me or mine, how I hold onto these ideas. The more I see them, the more I recognise where they come from and the more chance I have to let them go.

- Actively walking for the sake of walking and paying attention to the walking. Many people talk about the benefits of going for a walk to clear the mind, and suddenly things arise - solutions to problems or ideas. Cal Newport, author of Deep Work talks about this here.

- Bringing mindfulness to daily activities - to engage the senses completely is a way of getting out of the head and into the body. And as we do so, paying attention to the sensual experience, the mind chatter can rest and intuition can be heard.

Notic what happens when fully engaging in these.

They are not a quick fix but can certainly provide a quick glimpse into what is already here deep down, waiting to be discovered in the gaps between thought.

Don’t ignore these moments, they are evidence that we can wake up to our moment to experience and when we do, the potential for something else to arise is here too.

Peace.x

Still the Mind. Move The Body.

It feels good to move the body, there’s a real sense of feeling alive -
I’m aware of the energy that moves through me.


Having solely been (or at least it felt that way) locked into a mental existence, only relating to things cognatively - judgement, analysis, evaluation - all based on the thoughts that come and go;
I’m a bit more aware of my physical experience now.

Over the years my movement practice has changed, I’ve experimented with different ways of moving and that has helped me establish
the connection between my mind and body.

Only lifting to weights to try get bigger, where my mind is everywhere else but on the action. To 3 years on ashtanga yoga practice in 36 degree heat for the euphoric sensation upon completion.


I’ve had months bouldering interacting with “puzzles” and a year practicing mobilty with an expert who loved climibing trees as a way learning about the body. I also practiced jiu-jitsu for 8 months in NYC to face some fears.

I’m slowing down and allowing for a more intuitive practice of late. To do what feels right for my body in any moment, less forcing. I still love lifting weights, now with more awareness and for the stability it gives to my posture.

Nietzsche said “there is more wisdom in your body than
in your deepest philosophy.” 

It’s a storehouse for so much beyond what the
mind thinks that it knows, the body always does.

As the book says “the body keeps the score” - it remembers what the mind forgets. All the stressful interactions and emotional charge secreated as chemicals in the body, that is not regulated and released, becomes stagnant in the body, affecting us many ways - check the book out it’s great.

The mind thrives to be still. The body wants to move. Maybe, in moden society, we’ve got that the wrong way round.

Movement creates physical sensation and so there is more to be aware of - making it easier to bring the attention here when you choose to.
In terms of meditation practice, I love to move & stretch
before sitting still for this reason.

It’s easier to notice the breath too. Another thing we may have lost touch with because of it’s automacity. Movement activates the breath, another anchor to this moment.

It seems this added awareness for me is helpful when subtle signs of stress arise, with more knowledge of what is happening in the body I can interrupt the build up and take action.

Roll the shoulders, ease the neck or take a breath etc.

And now if I don’t actively move my body for a day or so, it affects my…I feel less mentally sharp and lethargic.

In these states, I’m prone to letting other areas slip…what I eat suffers and I might smoke a cig or 2 more. 

The mind affects the body and vice versa.

In a spiritual sense, it feels like now the gateway to higher states is through the body - the subtle yet powerful life force that permeates is always present but requires activation to be really felt.

I’m learning that mostly it’s about reconnecting to what’s already here, but over the years has been forgetten.

To get out of the head and into the body, at least once a day.x

Doing, doing, doing…not being, being, being.

You may be on what has been labelled the “healing journey” - going within and learning about yourself, reading many books, absorbing all the podcasts and going to workshops, ceremonies and doing the work…

This was (and to a certain extent still is) me…and doing all this I’d still feel stuck. And as much as I thought I was doing the right things…it was just that - the endless cycle of doing.

It was just another trip to the one I was on before. There was not the being.

I would intellectualise everything, and got better at articulating these things I was learning…which was another trap, it felt good to be able to able to share my new learnings with wise words, coming across like some teacher.

Another trap…

There was constant work on myself, I kept finding things to fix - further reinforcing that I’m broken and need healing. Ultimately this signifies a lack of acceptance.

All this healing becomes addictive, it can seem never ending, especially as it now seems “on-trend” - and fixation on this, ultimately is resistance to actually living and being in the game…

There is always more knowledge to accumulate, but then again there is plenty to integrate and apply. There are so many fixes on offer out there - another plant ceremony, another book or course…and it’s to identify with the process as a destination - but it’s the inner alignment which is the gold and nothing out there can do that.


And it’s the inner alignment that brings the freedom to be present with exactly who you are now, and ultimately create from who you are now - not waiting for perfection to knock on your door and tell you that you can finally live.

I think slowing down, from time to time even taking a break from external input, to allow yourself really tune in and feel yourself, to notice patterns with love and compassion and curiosity.

And allow yourself to experiment with integrating what you already know and have learnt…lean into these topics by actually being open to the experience.

To being willing to try new things and new habits and ways of being…in the name of play and experimentation. Not perfection, which is often the barrier to actually being the ideas you wish to be.

Knowing each small action is worth more than reading another 5 books.

And any perceived failure is simply an experience to then refine and reiterate for the next time.

More playfully and with more wisdom….because there is no audience and nobody to perform for.

It’s always You vs. You.

This moment is always the doorway to freedom.

When beginning to see myself with more clarity & honesty…there was lots of suffering of the feelings that came up seeing the role I had in it all.

All the behaviours and negative patterns that were a destructive force in my life.

I’d push them away trying to escape them, this resistance creates more suffering.

I was still identifying with these things from my mind - my story, my ego, personality - why me, victim mentality - but very attached to the narratives and stories of “me.” 

And it was when these attempts became hopeless, really I didn’t have the energy to keep fighting it, that surrender was possible.

Actually allowing myself to feel what was actually going, the physical expression and energy of it…I notice that some of that on going narrative and mental commentary began to lessen, and there was a newer awareness.

There was a sense of presence with what is. I didn’t like it still, but I began to notice, that I could be with it for a bit longer.

And with less identification with stories, the hold of the past that was plaguing me slowly began to dissolve too.

Joe Dispenza says an ‘Emotion is Energy in Motion’ - E-motion. Makes sense.

So this energy is seeking release, we tend to hold on to them because the story associated with them has some particular meaning for us.

So perhaps our freedom really is found in surrendering into the fullness of each moment.

Allowing things to unfold, feeling what arises, not grasping or pushing away anything…we may notice it’s what’s beneath that is more true - this depth and stillness always available to us - the truth of You.